Curtain Raiser

Just a week to go and its soo hectic here.....with my parents and I landing just few days before the wedding, we all have been really really busy since the last 2 weeks. The first thing I did after I landed here was my mangalsutra. The word mangalsutra means an auspicious thread or cord and is the most important sign of a married woman in Hindu culture. A mangalsutra in Maharashtrian weddings is made of black beads and gold. The black beads protect the marriage against all evil. As the groom ties the mangalsutra around his bride's neck, he promises her to always stay together.

Choosing the mangalsutra

Then came my clothes shopping, and people who know me, can guess that must have been the best part for me. I absolutely loveeeeeeee shopping. I had already purchased my wedding gown, so what was pending was my sarees and lehenga. I picked up few saress from stores, but most of the saress I loved were the ones bought from a sareewala who has been coming to my house since 6-7 years now. During the main wedding a Maharahstrian bride wears a yellow saree, I have purchased a yellow nine yard saree. After that I would change into a green saree followed by a blue one for the evening party. For the reception lehenga I wanted a typical bridal one and am getting it made from my tailor. I also had to shop for Sandeep since he would be flying just 2 days prior to the wedding. In the morning he is wearing a pitambar and a kurta, and a grand sherwani for the reception. I really really enjoyed shopping and picking up matching outfits for Sandeep and I.

Shopping

You all know how particular I am about the way I dress even when am going out just for groceries. Its obvious, I would then be really concerned about hairstyle, makeup for the wedding day. Luckily, I have been going to the same parlour ever since I was a small kid and hence that aunty knows what suits me best and the kind of look I would prefer during each ceremony. The wedding on 7th is going to be a total traditional Maharashtrian look while the evening party and reception would be comparatively trendier.

Parlour Trials

On 7th evening there is a party for mainly my friends in which we would be performing a choreographed sequel followed by informal dancing. Am not going to reveal much about the sequel in thi sblog, would upload a video after the party. 2 years back, as part of the food festival organized by my dad, a group of us had done a fashion show. Most of my friends in te fashion show are helping me with the sequel choreography too. Urmin is our main masterjee. She has been aired on TV with Saroj Khan for her dance show. Along with her, the ones participating are Eesha, Deeksha, Tanaya, Deepashree, Jaitashree, Aditi, Riddhi, Poorti. From the names it can be recognized that initally all the dancers were girls. For some dances it was essential to have a guy dancer and hence my sweet little brother, Vaibhav agreed to dance. He usually hates dancing on stage and has never done it after pre-primary school. Hence he pitching in just for my sake means a lot to me. When he dances, I dont see how good or bad he is at it; what I see is a loving brother doing something for his sister's wedding just because she wants it that way :).

Sangeet practice

Hmmm.........there is still lots more of work to be done and such few days. I travel everywhere with a camera nowadays and would be putting all other details too on this blog.

Losing Bachelor's Degree

One more month to go for the marriage. So many questions popping up in my head. Is this the end of 'many' things for a bachelor? Of course I understand life wouldn't be the same after marriage. But still, will it not be even a least bit of how it is now? As many people say, is marriage very complicated, full of problems, etc etc? Now I'm care free, I do what ever I want and go where ever I want to go. I can be lazy and sleep all day. Will I miss the friday night parties. I'll have to come home early, no parties, no friends, no pool, no playing computer games all day. Is this how it is going to be? Oh o!!


I close my eyes and think.....why the hell did I decide to get married ?!!


Hmm...then I realize, this decision was made by me because I wanted Jas more than anything. I wanted her to be there by my side always. I am happy whenever she is around. She made me happy and I loved her company. I liked her as a friend before and she would still be like my best friend even after marriage, so why should I be scared of not being a bachelor anymore? Before when she was there around me, I didn't feel I lost anything, so why should I feel this way when it comes to marriage? I am not going to lose anything. Marriage is not going to change who we are.


'Marriage' is something that bonds us together. Instead of being scared of committing to get married, we should understand that it is the beginning of a new friendship. A special bond where you share everything that is going to happen for the rest of your life with one person whom you care for the most and who will be there by your side till the very end. We may have some ups and downs, may find some faults and shortcomings in one another, but when the love for your partner is so much greater than these things, nothing else should really matter. As far as partying goes, she anyway loves socializing more than I do. I forever will have a beautiful date to take with me to any party. She would always be there beside me anytime, anywhere.


I have decided to lose my Bachelor's Degree to pursue a more special and challenging course of life.....Marriage. I would encourage my fellow bachelor friends, not to be scared of getting married. It is you who decide whether to make it look scary or exciting.


Cheers!!

A Father's Monologue

It was exactly 2 years back, end of July 2007. Jaswandi was leaving for US. I had come to India to complete unfinished tasks and to see her off.
Immediately after meeting her, I noticed some changes in her. She was stuck to mobile and was chatting very softly, which was very much unlike her. She always used to chat on phone loudly. Many times Vaibhav used to remark, ‘jyada show off mat kar’. She was like that, very transparent, nothing to hide. But that day, I felt she was hiding something, very unusual of her.
I was right. Sangita broke the news in night. ‘You know, she has decided, he was her immediate boss in Infy, he is a Mallu and a Christian.’ I was shocked, neither because he being Mallu, nor because he being Christian. After living in Dubai, a Mallu is an indispensable part of our life. And the religion is never an issue for me. I never accepted religion as a barrier in my life.
I was shocked because I refused to accept that Jaswandi got hooked up with some particular boy. She was always so career minded. She used to laugh at other girls falling in love. She was never ‘Mills & Boons’ type, but was always like Dagny Taggart of Ayn Rand. I and Sangita had always given Jaswandi and Vaibhav a lot of freedom. We believed that they will never do anything for which we will feel awkward. There used to be lot of boys in Jaswandi’s group and she used to be very free with them. But they all were just very good friends, nothing more. That’s why I was shocked. I became very curious. Who is this boy my Jaswandi has become paagal for? I felt envious because till then I was the only hero in her mind.
It took almost one and half year till I met Sandeep in Dec. 2008. Till then I had seen so many snaps of him that I had no problem in spotting him when he got down from the crowded train at Kalyan station. And then in those 2 days that unknown boy became my prospective son-in-law in my mind. I kept watching him critically, and then as a finale when we had a small get-together on second day, I felt proud to introduce him to all. Yes, my daughter was right in her selection.
We all started preparing for the big event. In the midst of all the preparations, one thought keeps haunting me. On that big day, I have to handover my little Gunda to Sandeep. My little Gunda, who smiled at me when I saw her for the first time when she was born, who I nurtured like a flower of Jaswandi all these years, I have to give away to someone. That someone I am sure will take care of her and will love her equally. I am happy for that but at the same time I feel sad since I am losing her. While doing kanyadan, I am sure there will be tears in my eyes. I will try to control them; I will make sure that nobody notices them. I will tell myself that big boys don’t cry. But I know, I am no more a boy. I am a buddha baap of the young bride and whether I like it or not the tears will roll down from my eyes.

The Wedding Dates are Declared....(By Jas)

I got back to US after the December official meeting and was soo miserable. The semester kept me busy though and soon it was March. And then one day mummy says, i think its time to fix the wedding dates. My first reaction, wowwww lots of shopping to do, partying, dancing......amaaazing. Mummy went from dubai to bombay to finalize the dates and book the weddng hall. Sandeep's parents too sat down to discuss abt the marriage. And then one day me and Sandeep were informed by our parents, we were going to have two ceremonies-one as per the Maharashtrian style on 7th August and the second in church on 17th. The wedding halls were booked and then it struck me, OH MY GOD, AM GETTING MARRIED!!!!!!!!!!! Its not all just about a party or shopping, its the most important event of my life. My parents are actually going to hand me over to Sandeep. That was a little freaky.....but then it was only March and well, I had lots of things to do till then.

First we started planning the events. Now, since its my wedding, there has to be dancing involved, and so inspite of Maharashtrian weddings not having sangeet, we decided to have one. And then ofcourse mehendi and sangeet and a reception too. As per the convenience of both the families, the schedule was chalked. Next, the shopping had to be started. but me being in US, really didnt help that. It would be so sill buying indian dresses from here. But there was something I could pick up from here-my wedding gown. Though in kerala mostly brides wear saree, my mother-in-law too agreed that I should wear a wedding gown. I was soooo thrilled, I always wanted to wear those gowns. I first went with my cousins in Boston for gown hunting in some real posh places. The gowns there costed around $10,000. Yaa it was crazy, so I decided to go someplace from where I could really buy something. Deepa and Jaitu (my cousins) told me about this store David's bridal which advertised about their gowns on TV. Once back in Minneapolis, I thought of going to one of its stores immediately, since it takes about 3 months to finally get your gown once you select it. My friend Harish came along with me to select my gown. It was really sweet of him to accompany me. He used to wait patiently outside the changing room and then photograph me in the gown. All the photographs were sent to my mom, cousins, Sandeep, friends. Am putting the link for the dress trials in here:

Wedding gown trial 1

Wedding gown trial 2

Two visits to the store, and I found the gown that I loved. I wore it and didnt want to remove it at all. Am not putting the photographs for the actual gown here, coz I want it to be a surprise for Sandeep. Once the gown was selected, I had to wait for almost a month and half for my first fitting....