THE DAY: Muhurta

Finally the day dawned, the day we all had been planning and preparing for from a long time. The muhurta was at 10:30am and I had to be ready by around 8:00. My parlour aunty along with her help had come at around 7:00am and I was all set to be dressed up as a bride. In maharashtrian weddings, the yellow saree is worn by the bride during the muhurta. I wanted to wear teh maharashtrian style nauvari saree(nine yard saree) and dress up as a typical maharashtrian girl. So I was wearing a nath(nose ring), chandrakor(bindi) to add on to my look. Mundavlya were tied and the bride was set to go. Yes I was leaving my home to get married to Sandeep. Well but at that time I was so anxious about reaching the hall, my attire that it had not occured to me that my parents were going to give me away to Sandeep and his family on that day.

In the hall I was sitting inside while my parents welcomed other guests. My 'karavlis'(bridesmaids)- Deepashree, Jaitashree, Tanaya were also dressed in nauvari sarees. A big welcome had been planned for Sandeep. At around 10:00 Sandeep came along with his parents, grandfather and his uncles, aunts, cousins who were eagerly waiting to experience a Maharashtrian wedding. Now I wasnt allowed to see Sandeep before the muhurta and thats why his welcome that I am writing about is something I heard from my cousins. As soon as he stepped out from the car, there were men dressed as 'Mavlas' with tutaris. Another mavla held a jewelled umbrella over his head. The entire atmospehere was filled with the music of the tutari and my mom was ready at the door to welcome her 'javai'(son-in-law). The welcome was nothing short of the way a king would have been welcomed.

He was accompanied to the mandap to which my uncle led me to once Sandeep was in his place. There was an 'antarpaat'(cloth) between us so that both of us could not see each other before the final shubhamangal savdhan(but if you see the video you can see Sandeep trying to peep :)). Vaibhav and Varun were holding the antarpaat. The bhadji(priest) started the mangalashtaka. These are small stanzas describing the ceremony and they all end with 'shubhamangal savdhan' at which the relatives and friends present shower 'akshatas'(rice) and flower petals on hte couple. Each stanza end means the time of the muhurta, the exact time at which the wedding takes place is coming nearer. If you ask me what exactly the bhadji was saying, I really dont remember, I just kept looking at Sandeep's thumb that was visible to me and imagining how he would look. I dont even remember what music was playing in hte background, all I could think was about him. Finally the time came, the final savdhan was said and the antarpaat fell. I had to put the garland around him first, but I couldnt help pause just to take a look at him. He too was dressed in traditional Maharashtrian clothes with a 'pitambar', kurta and a tikka on his forehead. All present there showered their blessings on us as we put the garlands. Deepashree was standing with a kalash behind me and she applied water to our eyes. I dont know what that was for. Tanaya and Jaitashree too had to do aarti for us.

Throughout the muhurta time, the bride's mom is not supposed to be present and she later came out for the kanyadaan. I think Kanyadaan is a ceremony all parents wait for and at the same time dread for. The daughter they nurture for years, they are supposed to give away to another person. They give away a part of their heart away and in return all they ask for is the boy's trust and love for their daughter. The bhadji asked Sandeep to place his hands over mine and my mom poured water on his hands. I could almost hear my dad choke as he chanted the mantras the bhadji asked him to. My parents had entrusted me to Sandeep and in return he had to promise to forever be by my side.

Then came the other ceremonies like tying the halkund(turmeric). 5 ladies were then invited in the mandap: mom, kaki, babi atya, chhabi atya and anvaya. They were to witness Sandeep tying the mangalsootra around my neck. Till that time it had just been a piece of jewellery for me. But the moment when Sandeep put it around me I realized it meant more than that. Each gold thread in it signified that I belonged to him for life, it promised of the blissful life that I would have ahead with him by my side, it spoke that I need not have worries cause he would remove all fears I had.

We then had to pay homage to the agni(fire) and put rice flakes in it. While Sandeep was putting ghee in the fire I had to touch Sandeep's hand signifying that I too am participating in the ceremony. I had seen other married females including my mom do that and it was kinda sweet to be doing it for the first time. During all these ceremonies all my friends present were standing in front around the mandap and passing comments. It was actually nice to see the way they all were enthusiastic about each ceremony and I too was so paying attention to what they were saying, that I got scolded by the bhadji for not paying attention to the ceremonies. Sandhya maavshi tied the knot between us and we took feras around the fire.

For the Saptapadi, seven leaves were placed on the ground with rice and betel nut on them. Each signifies needs of life. Sandeep and I had to stand facing each other and as he stepped behind I had to tread on each leaf starting with my right foot. This ceremony blesses the couple that all those needs be fulfilled.

Along with my parents there has been another person in my life who has given me a lot of security and protection. Vaibhav; though my younger brother has always been more like an elder one. He would always keep a check on whom am talkin to, the people I go out with, a darling doting brother who has done everything he can to keep me away from any lurking danger. When I told him about Sandeep two years back, it took him some while to finally believe that Sandeep would take good care of me. Though very supportive about our relationship, he had to make sure that he could entrust his sister to this guy. This was a very funny ceremony where Vaibhav had to wring Sandeep's ear and tell him "you better take good care of my sister". Only when Sandeep gave him his word(read cash :)) did Vaibhav leave Sandeep's ear.

Babi aatya left the knot between us and I changed into a green saree. After that came the back breaking namaskaars to all relatives present there. By then Sandeep and I were both famished and had to do the traditional 'feed each other' before we could actually start eating. While we were relishing the typical Maharashtrian food of shrikhand puri, Sandeep had to take a ukhana. Ukhana is taken traditionally by the bride in which she takes her husband's name in a poetic verse. It was funny seeing Sandeep struggle with Marathi :). After lunch we left for the place where Sandeep was staying with his parents. And naa I didnt cry coz I knew I was to soon return in the evening at the same venue for the fun party.

More Photos

Haldi

August 6th.....the day before the wedding. My haldi ceremony was scheduled. Turmeric is said to be good for skin and it brings out the natural glow. Well, I had been to enough weekly facial apointments in the parlour I guess, and was actually not very keen to have any haldi smeared on my face. My mom too shared the same opinion and was warning all the ladies before hand to not let haldi on my face or my mehendi. I was purposely wearing a light color saree so that I could save the haldi stained saree as a souvenir.

My mami led me to the ceremony. My mom started applying haldi with mango leaves. You start from the feet to the face. All the ladies present applied haldi and I dont exactly remember who started it, but in the end I had haldi smeared all over my face inspite of me trying to avoid that. But am quite glad that I was successful in letting my mehendi stay untouched.

Haldi is supposed to be a very auspicious ceremony and after that, the bride/groom is not allowed to step out of the house, they say nazar lag jaati hain.

After taking a bath I changed into a bblue saree. This saree was given to me by my grandpa (dad's dad) after my grandmother expired (dad's mom) and I believe its their blessing and hence wanted to wear that for one of the ceremonies. We had a navagraha pooja and lunch. Before lunch there was this another small ritual called saubhagya vadha. Where there were 5 ladies seated and I had to wear a ghunghat and go in front of them and say "saubhagya vadha" ("please give me some good luck"). And whatever they serve you in your plate, you are supposed to eat. Well but at the end of the ritual there were some 5-6 puranpolis in my plate and if you ask me if I did eat all of them, well let me not disclose anything in public.

My mom then put green bangles for me. In Maharashtrian weddings, thats the wedding chuda and the bride is not supposed to remove them for few days.

It was quite a hectic pre-weddingday. Though the bride and groom arenot supposed to meet on that day, Sandeep was there at my home too :). There were lots of people in the house, and so much going on that I didnt even have time to think about the wedding next day. In the evening,JP, Jassi and Mayur arrived from Bangalore. I was busy chatting with them and my parents and Vaibhav were out to receive Sandeep's folks from Kerala and his friends. Deepashree too was with my mom and even put mehendi for Sandeep's cousin and neice.

It was quite a hectic and long day for all of us and we went to bed exhausted and in anticipation of the next "The Day".

PHOTOS: Haldi

Mehendi hain Sajnewali

Mehendi is something I have loved even as a kid. As a school kid my mom used to put mehendi for me on Friday nights and I always used to complain that the mehendi in the books and on my hand is not identical, I used to point out at small little details in patterns that she would miss since she possibly couldnt get everrything on my tiny little hand.

It took me and my mom quite some time to hunt for a bridal mehendi girl. We finally found a lady and it was decided she would be putting mehendi for me and my mom. We decided to have the mehendi ceremony on 5th August starting at 6. The dress code for the evening was green. We even had a green menu planned with harabhara kebab and green pulav.

My mehendi started at 4 and it took 4 hours to complete. My relatives, close friends, family started coming at around 6. It was fun atmosphere with all getting mehendi done on their hands. Deepashree, Deeksha, Aditi were putting mehendi for others. While I was getting mehendi done right uptil my arms, my aunt was teasing me reminding me of the time during her wedding when I was 7 and had pestered the mehendi lady that I too wanted same mehendi as the dulhan. Getting mehendi done for 4 hours was quite tiring. By the end my arms were aching a lot but still I was enjoying every bit of the royal treatment I received. Since I had mehendi on my hands and couldnt use my hands, I had Sandhya maavshi and Tanaya feed me food, someone else tying my hair if it fell loose, every single person there was always on the look out if I needed anything....hmmmmmm.....the advantages of being a bride :).

My mehendi was done and while others were getting theirs done, Julie (my neighbour) suddenly had a complain ki ghar kaafi shaant hain. Next minute we know, she asked Vaibhav to blast music and got us all on our feet to dance. It was great fun to watch all keep their hands safely out of hte way and dance around together. One by one every single person in the room was pulled in including my granny. Occasionally even my Dad and Vaibhav were turned into Kishan Kanhaiyas as they had to dance amongst all the mehendiwale haath.

That was the kick of ceremony for the wedding and I must say it was a blast, thanks to all present there.

You can see the photos for the mehendi ceremony if you click on this link and will try to upload few videos also soon

Mehendi ki raat

And if you think this was it for the day, well there was another excitement left at the end of the day on 5th August. My dulhe miya arrived in Mumbai too that same day for the wedding :).

Happily Married!!

Yippieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!
The marriage was just AMAZING!!

I know all of you are eagerly waiting for the news and fotos. We will be updating the blog very soon...

Keep watching this space!!

Suit Yourself!

Well....well let me see if I can give Jas some competition in shopping. But thing is I just need a shirt and pant....what else do guys wear. Ha ha...so easy and simple. But gosh buying a suit was really a pain. After going through a dozen suits, I felt...........they all look the same!! I wanted something different. Something that looked special. Well after some trials and hard work....there it was...a tuxedo. It was great. I instantly liked it. And you no what ... it has the James Bond look:) ha ha....

The name is Bond.....James Bond!!

Lets see if this bond can get Jas's attention.

cheers!!

More Suit Trail Pics!

Curtain Raiser

Just a week to go and its soo hectic here.....with my parents and I landing just few days before the wedding, we all have been really really busy since the last 2 weeks. The first thing I did after I landed here was my mangalsutra. The word mangalsutra means an auspicious thread or cord and is the most important sign of a married woman in Hindu culture. A mangalsutra in Maharashtrian weddings is made of black beads and gold. The black beads protect the marriage against all evil. As the groom ties the mangalsutra around his bride's neck, he promises her to always stay together.

Choosing the mangalsutra

Then came my clothes shopping, and people who know me, can guess that must have been the best part for me. I absolutely loveeeeeeee shopping. I had already purchased my wedding gown, so what was pending was my sarees and lehenga. I picked up few saress from stores, but most of the saress I loved were the ones bought from a sareewala who has been coming to my house since 6-7 years now. During the main wedding a Maharahstrian bride wears a yellow saree, I have purchased a yellow nine yard saree. After that I would change into a green saree followed by a blue one for the evening party. For the reception lehenga I wanted a typical bridal one and am getting it made from my tailor. I also had to shop for Sandeep since he would be flying just 2 days prior to the wedding. In the morning he is wearing a pitambar and a kurta, and a grand sherwani for the reception. I really really enjoyed shopping and picking up matching outfits for Sandeep and I.

Shopping

You all know how particular I am about the way I dress even when am going out just for groceries. Its obvious, I would then be really concerned about hairstyle, makeup for the wedding day. Luckily, I have been going to the same parlour ever since I was a small kid and hence that aunty knows what suits me best and the kind of look I would prefer during each ceremony. The wedding on 7th is going to be a total traditional Maharashtrian look while the evening party and reception would be comparatively trendier.

Parlour Trials

On 7th evening there is a party for mainly my friends in which we would be performing a choreographed sequel followed by informal dancing. Am not going to reveal much about the sequel in thi sblog, would upload a video after the party. 2 years back, as part of the food festival organized by my dad, a group of us had done a fashion show. Most of my friends in te fashion show are helping me with the sequel choreography too. Urmin is our main masterjee. She has been aired on TV with Saroj Khan for her dance show. Along with her, the ones participating are Eesha, Deeksha, Tanaya, Deepashree, Jaitashree, Aditi, Riddhi, Poorti. From the names it can be recognized that initally all the dancers were girls. For some dances it was essential to have a guy dancer and hence my sweet little brother, Vaibhav agreed to dance. He usually hates dancing on stage and has never done it after pre-primary school. Hence he pitching in just for my sake means a lot to me. When he dances, I dont see how good or bad he is at it; what I see is a loving brother doing something for his sister's wedding just because she wants it that way :).

Sangeet practice

Hmmm.........there is still lots more of work to be done and such few days. I travel everywhere with a camera nowadays and would be putting all other details too on this blog.

Losing Bachelor's Degree

One more month to go for the marriage. So many questions popping up in my head. Is this the end of 'many' things for a bachelor? Of course I understand life wouldn't be the same after marriage. But still, will it not be even a least bit of how it is now? As many people say, is marriage very complicated, full of problems, etc etc? Now I'm care free, I do what ever I want and go where ever I want to go. I can be lazy and sleep all day. Will I miss the friday night parties. I'll have to come home early, no parties, no friends, no pool, no playing computer games all day. Is this how it is going to be? Oh o!!


I close my eyes and think.....why the hell did I decide to get married ?!!


Hmm...then I realize, this decision was made by me because I wanted Jas more than anything. I wanted her to be there by my side always. I am happy whenever she is around. She made me happy and I loved her company. I liked her as a friend before and she would still be like my best friend even after marriage, so why should I be scared of not being a bachelor anymore? Before when she was there around me, I didn't feel I lost anything, so why should I feel this way when it comes to marriage? I am not going to lose anything. Marriage is not going to change who we are.


'Marriage' is something that bonds us together. Instead of being scared of committing to get married, we should understand that it is the beginning of a new friendship. A special bond where you share everything that is going to happen for the rest of your life with one person whom you care for the most and who will be there by your side till the very end. We may have some ups and downs, may find some faults and shortcomings in one another, but when the love for your partner is so much greater than these things, nothing else should really matter. As far as partying goes, she anyway loves socializing more than I do. I forever will have a beautiful date to take with me to any party. She would always be there beside me anytime, anywhere.


I have decided to lose my Bachelor's Degree to pursue a more special and challenging course of life.....Marriage. I would encourage my fellow bachelor friends, not to be scared of getting married. It is you who decide whether to make it look scary or exciting.


Cheers!!